Success Story

Since I haven’t posted in over a week, I wanted to start out with a few random thoughts of the day. First of all, I was looking at my all time top search phrase, and the number 1 top search phrase was ‘sexwoman’. 40 views were made from this phrase. The next top phrase was ‘gay marriage’ with 8 views. Wow… I didn’t know I sexualized my blog so much, but yay for me, I guess!

Secondly, I just passed 2,000 views on my blog. Again, yay me! I started my blog in February, and haven’t tried to boost my traffic at all. This is an informative blog that I have shared with my facebook account, and to gain support in my journey with my new business and my mental illness. I’m quite proud to say I think I have helped people realize what is going on in my head, and helped them understand a bit more about being bipolar.

Thirdly, I have a success story to share. Napoleon and I have been working on long-distance stays and distraction/impulse control training. We have implemented a lot more ‘rest time’ into his schedule, and done 30 minutes of vigorous training in one session, and then plenty of down time afterwards. I have noticed such a difference, that sometimes I think I have a whole new dog!

Over the Memorial Day weekend, Napoleon had an opportunity to train around A LOT of distractions. I had my family come over, and they normally love to give him attention. We practiced a long-distance down-stay while I was in the kitchen making lunch, as my 3year old niece was running around playing and screaming. We were also babysitting a puppy, and my dad had the puppy on a leash so she wouldn’t get away and run around the house. So, my dog had to down-stay while I was making food ( a HUGE challenge for him is impulse control around food), a loud child, a puppy, and having new people in the house.

What was our result?! SUCCESS!! He stayed in a down for about 15 minutes around all the distractions. I then broke his stay with a recall, and then put him closer to the distractions and tried again. The puppy got away from my dad and wanted to play with Napoleon. He got up after about 5 minutes of abuse from this mouthy poodle/pointer mix. Then, I put him back in a stay in the hallway for about 10 minutes and then kenneled him so he could learn everything we practiced. He did AWESOME! I was so proud! This was a huge milestone for him. Usually, when there are people around, food, and the excitement levels are high, he really struggles, and my anxiety levels sky rocket. When I’m anxious, it is not the time to train. He really helped me that day because he was completely awesome the entire time.

Rainbow Bridge

The loss of a dog is sometimes harder than the loss of a person. Why? I believe it’s because the dog can never hurt you. The dog never gave you any reason to be less of a person and ‘act out’.

A dog can be your best friend, even while they are getting in trouble. Their whole purpose in life is to try to make you happy. They want to be with you every second they can, they want to make you feel better when you are sad, and they want you to know they can help clean up after dinner.

It’s always hard to lose a family member, furry or non-furry, it still hurts. No matter how they go, it doesn’t make it any easier. Which leads me to the reason of my post today; the loss of a family pet.

My mother’s dog just passed away on Saturday, after sixteen years of life. It wasn’t unexpected, just… you never really are prepared for it. For the last few years, I had been dreading this phone call. And Saturday, while I was driving to my training class, my mom called me and told me the news.

Shock. Sadness. Sorrow. Guilt. Loss. Denial. Acceptance.

All the feelings I had at once. When an animal is always in your family, you get used to them, and don’t expect they will ever leave you. You don’t expect it, and when it happens, you tell yourself this can’t be happening. But then almost immediately, reality sets in, and you tell yourself she was old, and her health had been declining.

My mom did an awesome job taking care of her the last few years. Handmaking her food, paying for her medicine every month, carrying her around the house, making sure she is tethered somewhere safe so she won’t fall down the stairs.

My heart was heavy and sad, but it wasn’t only because of the loss of a family dog. It was because this dog meant so much to my mom.

Just like any animal lover, you form an attachment with your animals that you can’t put into words, you can’t explain why you prefer your dog over your family sometimes, but you do. And this phone call was painful to me in that way because I know the same feeling. And the loss kind of feels like you have lost part of yourself.

I talked to my mom, I helped her handle the situation, and I was late to training. When I got there, it was hard to focus because this dog was also my dog for 10 years, and then I moved out and went to college. When you have a puppy, or a dog who is so full of life, you don’t think about the moment when they won’t be around anymore. But because of this incident, I have started thinking about this. This makes me treasure every moment I have with my own dog so much more.

As hard as this is, we knew it was coming. But again, it doesn’t make it any easier. It doesn’t make it bearable, or make the pain go away.  It just means it wasn’t unexpected. My heart is with my mom, even though we are miles away. I’m sad about the death of a family pet, but I’m also sad for my mom. I want to be there and hug her and tell her it’s ok, and help her through this because I know the feeling she has right now. I know the feeling of complete vulnerability and sadness. No one can help, no one can do anything to make this feeling go away, and I know that all too well. However, I just want to be there.

So, in loving memory of Hershey, I am posting the Rainbow Bridge poem, because it helps. Even though I’m not religious, I do believe there is a special spiritual place where dogs can go. Their souls are innocent, and if there is a place like that – they all deserve to be there.

Rest in Peace, Hershey.

Disappointed in Therapy Animals Of Utah

As I mentioned earlier, I hosted a pack walk for my business. It was an awesome turnout! I met some of my clients and their dogs, as well as met a few new faces! I also met some people who aren’t my clients, but I know from our local pets page, and from our social class on Saturdays. Wasatch Canine Camp hosts this class, and many of these people are her clients. So, I tread lightly, as I don’t want to step on toes, or seem like I’m ‘poaching’.

Anyway, back to my pack walk. It was AWESOME!!! Total of 17 dogs came, and I arranged them according to how well they were behaving on the leash. I put the strong, well-leashed trained dogs in the front, and the excitable, un-leash trained dogs in the back. In the middle were all the dogs in between. I didn’t have to do much, as many of these dogs were behaving well on their own.

It was a success! By the end of the pack walk, 80% of the dogs were behaving well on the leash. There were a select few who will need some work, but that’s what this class is for!

The weather was beautiful, the people were awesome, and I successfully put my name out there again! I’m moving up in the world! Well… I like to think so…

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Now, on Saturday, I attended an all-day workshop about therapy dogs. I went through a society called Therapy Animals Of Utah (TAU, formerly called the Delta society). The goal was to get handler certified, and then have you and your dog be certified as a full working, therapy team. Meaning my dog and I are never separated when we are helping patients. We are a team.

The course was from 9am – 5pm. I gave up my only day off to come to this course, so my dog and I could be certified as a therapy team. Since I have been studying canine psychology for the last year, I knew about 85% of what was taught, and had my own opinions about the training methods used, along with the equipment I was allowed to use. I disagreed with some of their methods, and also with the equipment they said was ‘inappropriate’. They didn’t want you even training with certain equipment, which I thought was silly.

For example, any type of chain was unacceptable along with eCollar training. I disagree with this. Now, I think the prong collar should not be used on every single dog, nor does every single dog need it, but I have used this tool in my training in the past. I prefer a head collar, like the Halti (but never Gentle Leader.. not impressed) and just like any tool – a trainer should help you learn how to use it correctly. Their reasoning behind not using prong collars, eCollars, or choke chains was that it could hurt the dog or a person. I was stunned.. such an uneducated way of saying this. Prong collars are a great tool if used correctly. Of course someone can get hurt if it used incorrectly on the dog. ANY TOOL can hurt a person or a dog if used incorrectly.

They wanted you to use a back-clip harness, flat collar and a leash combination, or a martingale collar. Yes, these are all great, but I still really prefer the head collar. They said you can use it, but it is often mistaken as a muzzle, so you will have to explain yourself all the time with this. No shit.

Obviously, I’m starting to get irritated now. It’s like they were treating me like I didn’t know anything. However, I took deep breaths, and realized that everyone there (except me) weren’t trainers, and didn’t study the different equipment, or psychology. So… I listened, and just said ‘ok.’ Every once in a while when I had an educated question like ‘Why don’t you allow front-clip harnesses? I ask because a back-clip harness is promoting the dog to pull, and that’s the opposite of what we want, right?’

Anyway, back to the course. Right before lunchtime, we were broken up into workshops, and I was stationed at the grooming section. We were discussing proper dental care, and I asked a question, “I take a more holistic approach in raising my animals, and I would rather not put my dog under for anesthesia for a dental cleaning ever 6 months. I have moved to a raw diet and I give marrow bones to keep teeth clean, and I believe it does a much better job. I also use a frankincense/oil blend to clean ears because I won’t use anything that isn’t organic on my dog.”  So, after I asked my educated question, and explained my reasoning, the instructor said, “Actually, a dog that eats raw cannot be certified as a therapy animal. The bacteria in the raw meat that may be left behind on the animal’s mouth, lips, paws, etc is a risk to people who have a weakened immune system. Like people who are pregnant, sick, cancer patients, infants, or elderly people.”

I was shocked… and my heart dropped, I could hardly speak. I was at a loss. I ended up saying how ridiculous I thought that was, and how if a 3 year old who was sick touched another person in the hospital, it was more dangerous than my dog getting someone sick with ‘raw meat residue’ on the mouth. Which, I might point out – with proper grooming techniques, especially within a hospital environment, is improbable.

So, I went back to my place at the table and sat down… by myself… and proceeded to tear up like a baby while lunch was getting ready. I have been preparing for 8 months for this course, and to be evaluated. Napoleon is ready. I have managed his adrenaline levels, and every aspect of the course, he would ace with flying colors. This one little thing – this thing I wasn’t aware of until now – has completely thrown me off, and we have been disqualified. I was so upset that no one told me. I was upset that it felt like I wasted my time on Saturday – my only day off. And didn’t learn hardly anything. I was upset that I have put 8 months worth of work into my dog to make him a therapy dog, and now, we can’t qualify.

So, I took a walk really quickly, and then came back, and attended the last ½ of the course. I realized I also disagreed with some of the training methods they were using the rest of the day. For example, the dog would show signs of stress management (lip licking, yawning, whale eyes, turning body or head away, furrowed brow, etc) and it was the trainer’s responsibility to ‘assure’ the dog by giving praise and positive reinforcement for this behavior to make the dog feel safe. In my opinion, by giving the dog positive reinforcement when it is stressed, you are reinforcing this behavior, thus I don’t agree.  The way I would handle this would be to get the dog out of the situation, and then introduce slower and keep the dog beneath the threshold entirely. As soon as you start seeing signs of coping (again the stress management), I would back off, and slow down. I would also keep sessions between 10-20 minutes, even if the session is going well. You want to end on a good note. The instructors here also didn’t believe this, and just want to ‘manage’ the stressors and see signs of when the dog is finally done (tail between legs, shaking, whining, etc). In my opinion (again), I wouldn’t let it get this far. At this point, you can no longer train, the dog has shut down. It’s too late to use this opportunity to learn, and you might have pushed the dog too far.  This creates a negative memory about therapy work, location, situation, smell, etc – whatever the ‘trigger’ maybe next time, and now you have to worry about ‘fixing’ it instead of ‘management’, which is a lot harder.

Overall, I disagree with the restriction on raw, and I disagree with the core training methods used with this organization, and it’s probably a good thing that we won’t quality. I will need to find another organization that I agree with the training methods, and can happily volunteer for. It is unfortunate I lost a whole day, but at the same time, I am so happy that I did because I know what to look for in other therapy organizations now.

I feel I have cleansed myself of that seething anger I felt initially, and replaced it with acceptance and peace. I’m ok.

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P.S.

By the way, you will be hearing less of me in the coming few weeks because I am studying my canine theriogeneology course, and I have enrolled in an obedience course with Napoleon. I need some time for me, and I won’t be on to update all the time, so when I do have time, my posts might be longer (like this one) than normal.

Busy but Rewarding Week!

 

Sorry that  I haven’t posted in a while. I have had double trainings after my day job every single day this week-good thing I’m still ‘elevated’. Business is booming! And I have a pack walk planned tonight that I am very excited about. It looks to be a good turnout, so we’ll see how many people show. I’m expecting about 20 dogs . It’s a perfect size for a pack walk!

Anyway, what happened since I posted last…? Ah yes!

Napoleon is on a new ‘boot camp’ schedule, and he’s making progress already. It’s a course between 6 -10 weeks, and I expect we will learn a lot! We are following the training protocol to the letter, and he has shown remarkable improvements already. Normally, when you let him out the kennel, he gets really excited and jumps around, and pants, and sometimes even barks/whines. Not anymore! Only 1 week of ‘calm’ training within the kennel, he is showing major results.

-No whining/barking
-Better behavior on walks and when playing with me
-Calmer demeanor when he is out of the kennel
-Responding very well to being the crate for so long.

Now, let me make a note here. Napoleon is a good dog – he has very minor issues (if you can even call them issues). But as an aspiring trainer, I want my dog to reflect the training I do. Immediately, when I tell people I am a trainer, they look at Napoleon to see how he is behaving. Most of the time, he is wonderful. However, when he gets adrenalized, he makes mistakes and bad decisions. This is why we are doing more advanced training through obedience. He is attentive to me about 90% of the time in the house/back yard/front yard, but that percentage drops dramatically when he gets adrenalized. It’s probably at about 40%. So, again – this is why we are doing a ‘doggie boot camp’!

Just in the introduction to the training course, I have learned so much! In the beginning, the trainer went over a lot of nutrition, tips, crate training, etc. Those were things I knew, but I’m always open to listening, as I could pick up something I didn’t know before. And I did! Tripe for dogs! I haven’t ever given my dogs tripe, but it is very good for them, along with fish oil and raw eggs. I knew about those 2, though.

Anyway, we started getting into the ‘meat’ of the first class, and we are doing a few things I recommend to clients’ already, but haven’t used on my own dog. I was a little blind to a lot of issues, and I have learned so much within the last 8 months about him. I have worked with him more and more, and I see results. I am so impressed with this particular trainer, that I really want to take some of her other courses. Too bad I’m not made of money..or time!

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Now, I’m following another trainer, named Fernando Camacho. His website is here. He is a dog trainer in New Jersey who has a free blog. I have been listening to his podcasts, and he is full of great information! Again, since I have been studying for a while, I knew some of what he was talking about already, but I always listen intently because I don’t want to miss something that could give me a new tool on my belt. He has wonderful links to sites to help you with training, and you don’t even have to be a trainer! He was the one who gave me the idea to do the pack walk, and just go for it! I’m so happy I listened, and I’m so excited to see the results of all my planning this week. Eventually, it won’t be so difficult/time consuming to do everything, but this is the first one I have done.

Anyway, wanted to share, and wanted to wish everyone a good weekend! Oh!! I don’t have time to post about it right now, but I want to update you on Ryder again.

Overwhelmingly Elevated

My therapist says I should get more sleep – regulate it. Make sure I’m eating healthy, and monitor my thought patterns. Well, I already eat healthy, and my sleep is … relatively normal. Except for when I’m elevated. And regulate my thought patterns – well, I’m awesome and super woman, and I can do everything… right? Sure, when I’m elevated.

What does this mean? Elevated?

This means I am at a ‘high’ point in my mood. A normal person feels sadness and happiness with all kinds of differences in between. I feel utter depression all the way to unimaginable joy. And I’m all over the place. My lows are the depths of hell, and my highs are mountain peaks. Obviously, we know depression isn’t good, but feeling like you are on top of the world isn’t good either. We want a constant, balanced state of mind.

Huh… why does this sound familiar? Because this is what we preach for hyper, adrenalized dogs. ‘Change their state of mind’. Teach them to be calm and balanced. And I have to teach myself how to do that as well. Will kenneling and mental exercises work for me? Seems my dog and I are on the same wavelength on a lot of things… he’s constantly ‘high’ and adrenalized. Apparently, I’m adrenalized right now too.

Right now, I’m on a high, and I can take on the world. So, because I have been on this high for over a week now, I have been incredibly happy with my life, and super busy. At work, at home, when I’m sleeping, it seems my brain doesn’t turn off. I’m always thinking, and I’m planning. Sometimes these highs last for a few weeks, sometimes a few months, and sometimes just a day. I’m all over the place, and I can’t find a balance. I just want to scream!

What have I done lately? I planned a pack walk for next Friday evening because I am no longer doing training on Fridays. I took Friday evenings off so I could study and have time to myself… and what do I do? I schedule a pack walk instead. It was an impulse thing, and I don’t regret doing it because I’ll learn a lot, and the dogs and people who will be coming will learn a lot. But I do wonder why I sign myself up for all this, when all I need is a break? I just.. have a drive that won’t quit when I’m elevated.

What else have I done? I started my canine theriogenology course last night, and finished up the workload for this week this morning (yeah… in one day). Then, I went straight to my social class. After that, I headed home and dropped off Napoleon, and the hubby and I went to a movie. Then, dinner, went home, printed off my paperwork, got ready for my obedience course and left again. Got home late, and started doing the work for my obedience course. We’ll get into that in a different blog post. RIght now, this is about me.

I also signed up for a therapy team (me and my dog) workshop. I signed up for this a few months ago, and my first class for my therapy-dog handler’s course starts next Saturday. Then, I come home, get Napoleon and leave again for my obedience course that evening. I am excited, but also worried that I have taken on too much. I did, didn’t I? I signed up for everything, but didn’t realize it was happening all at the same time.

So, because I’m doing all this, and it’s fun and exciting, and I’m worried. I’m worried because I know I’m going to crash. And then I’ll struggle to just get out of bed in the morning. So, now, I’m elevated, and scared. Which makes me not want to sleep. So, here I am, it’s after midnight, and instead of trying to sleep, I’m writing this post about how I’m worried and scared and elevated, and excited, and just can’t stop thinking.

Now, I think I’ll actually get my notes done from the trainings I had this last week. I didn’t do them because I was so caught up in making some material for my pack walk. Ahhhhh…..

Turn off brain. Please? Just STOP for a bit..

I need to breathe. I need to sleep. I need to recharge.

But it’s not going to happen. And that makes it worse.

My therapist wants to medicate me while doing psychotherapy. I’m all for it, and I’m happy to do whatever it takes. But… if I’m medicated, I won’t feel like I’m on top of the world anymore. I want to feel like that all the time without worry of when the crash happens. I told her that and said they should make a drug that does that. A drug that makes you feel constantly like you can take on the world. She laughed and said they do make a drug like that.

It’s called meth. I need some of that.

Difficult Dog Challenges

I have had the pleasure to work with mainly happy go-lucky dogs with minor problems. Problems like pulling on the leash, jumping up on people, obedience training, whining/barking, counter surfing, puppy behavior, potty training, kennel training, door bolting, etc.

So, when I get a dog who has anxiety, leadership problems, or an adult dog who gets a little mouthy, this is a more serious problem – to me. I’m sure more experienced trainers would have no problems with this. However, since I’m inexperienced and don’t know shit, these problems are challenging for me. I like a good challenge, and in no way is this a bad thing. I’m not overwhelmed, nor do I feel like I don’t how to handle the problem… most of the time.

I don’t feel like I have a pride complex or anything – I can admit when a dog is too much for me or when I handled a situation in the wrong way. I usually know if I can handle the problem within the first initial consultation or phone call. Aggression, hyper-activity [extreme], pushy behavior [again, to the extreme], OCD behavior, or using any sort of eTouch device are all things that I don’t handle yet, though I’m excited to work with these types of issues and equipment in time. I want to be able to handle anything that gets thrown my way.

Recently, I have met a few exceptionally difficult dogs. You remember Ryder? Well, he is improving, especially when he gets to go to socials every weekend. I see improvements, and now, he has come so far that I don’t even see leadership challenges much anymore-at home that is. In public, he feels he can still push you around. He still has lots of learning to do, but the family has come so far, and they really want what is best for him, so they are trying, and it shows. He is honestly not a dog I would consider a ‘huge’ problem anymore. Yes, he still needs a lot of work, but recently… I have seen a lot worse.

Anyway, back to the difficult dogs. I have met a few that I already knew within the first few minutes they are too much for me. So, I recommend another trainer. I have no remorse, jealousy, or feel ashamed when I do this. Basically, if I take on a case that is too much for me, I waste my time, the client’s time and money, and I can possibly do more damage to the dog’s mental state. Especially with aggression cases, I could put myself, the dog, and any person in the vicinity of the dog at risk if something happens.

Instead of feeling like, ‘Oh, poor me, I can’t handle difficult issues. I’m such a failure, and I should be able to do this’. I say to myself, ‘Eventually, I’ll be able to handle issues like this. Right now, I can’t help this dog. But I will be able to after I get my certification and get some experience working with these types of dogs For now, let’s get this dog a trainer who can help him!’  I feel I am strong because of this. And smart. I will make mistakes, and I don’t feel I should be chastised for this. I can learn from my mistakes and become a better trainer. I am not rushing, but I always want to do more. By enrolling in all these classes, I feel I am succeeding.

Babysitting Checkers was a mistake for me – he was too much. He needs a specialized board and train program for his needs, not just a babysitter. He is the most difficult dog I have ever met in my career. Again, compared to other trainers, this may not be saying much. But I’m done comparing myself to other trainers. I will now ‘compare’ to my experiences. So, in my experience, Checkers is the most difficult dog I have come across.

Since I babysat him, I have encountered a few more difficult dogs from clients that I have referred to another trainer in my area. I want to do everything. Big goal, huh? Well, it gives me some projects to do, and to network with other trainers to get some tips and pointers about seminars, workshops, and places to go to learn.  I have recently registered for a course in dealing with difficult dogs. I’m excited, but also a little anxious. I don’t know why… maybe it’s nerves.

I have spoken to my local trainer friend, and she says she gets dogs like Checkers on a daily basis. It sounds exhausting. But, if I’m able to handle all his issues later on, I would assume I wouldn’t feel as flustered as I did when Checkers as at my house, and I was trying every tool I had at my disposal. He was only out of my sight for 5 minutes in 4 days while he was out of the kennel, and managed to get himself into trouble. He was tethered to me the whole time or to an object within the house. In those 4 days, I spent about 30-35 hours of active training.  Because I already knew exercise wouldn’t do the trick, we worked in the backyard instead, as he fought the Halti like a bat out of hell and I was not going to reward that behavior by taking him on a walk. He honestly, didn’t get much exercise [physical, I mean], but we did psychological exercises and worked on targeting. He did respond to SATS when we did some targeting, but I lost his focus within about 10 minutes. Well, 10 minutes is better than nothing.

This experience really opened my eyes to what a ‘board and train’ program means, as well as what working with difficult dogs mean. And why trainers can charge so much when working with them. It is a lot of work, and it is hard work. Again, once I get the training, I feel like I could have handled a few things differently. I felt I was never in any danger of getting attacked – she showed no aggression towards me, just over-adrenalized when he was around Napoleon, toys, food, people, a leash… actually, he was just adrenalized the entire time we had him. Which took about 6 hours to get them to be acceptable while they were off the leash together. Not bad, but I can do better. And I’m sure I made many mistakes. But that’s because I’m human, right?

Anyway, I was just thinking about this today, so I thought I would jot it down and open this up to the world to read about. Maybe it will also help other people will struggles they are experiencing in other careers, at school, or even with their own dog.

Anything is possible, and knowledge is power… Ignorance is bliss. I don’t want to live in bliss. I want to educate, and learn, and be great. And I will be. [Take on the world attitude again]

Why do I want to be a dog trainer?

I get this question asked a lot. ‘How/why did you get into dog training?’ Well, it was because of a dog, of course.

I have always loved animals, and especially dogs… and puppies! But within the last few years, I realized I haven’t been entirely happy with my life. Why? I make good money, I have a great husband, and our lifestyle is awesome. We have a house, and I’m living the American Dream. Well, almost. I wasn’t doing what I love.

Not Albert, but this dog kind of looks like him.

This realization hit me when I was taking Napoleon in for his post-surgery checkup after he was diagnosed with Mast Cell Cancer last year. I was a client of the Banfield hospital, located within Petsmart. On that very day, a local rescue called Lost Paws had their adoption day within Petsmart. They brought with them an emaciated, timid black Great Dane. His name was Albert.

I’m already partial to Danes, but for some reason, this one … spoke to me. He looked at me with his sad eyes, and they said, ‘help me. Please. Help me.’. I sat with him, and talked to him, and completely fell in love with this dog. His spirit was broken, his body was a wreck. He had been left outside to fend for himself, so he had sores on his body from the pavement. He was an intact 3 year old male with little to no training. However, he had a very calm demeanor, and seemed to be fearful of a lot of things: cats, people, other dogs, cars, the leash, kids, etc. I was in love with him. We connected immediately, and I told the person I needed to talk to my husband.

I could socialize this dog. I could let him have a wonderful life with us. I could clean him up and tell him that it’s ok to be scared sometimes, but with me – he would have nothing to be scared about. I would train him, and socialize him, and help him, and show him love. He could be happy and he would do well with us.

I told my husband about him, already knowing that he might not be ok with this. He asked me, ’How do you plan to get him home?’. I hadn’t thought that far ahead yet. He was a Dane, and I had a small car. . . with my other large dog. He asked me if he was crate-trained. I wasn’t sure. Potty trained? Again, I wasn’t sure. Any training at all? Probably not. Seems the cards were against me, since my husband and I both worked during the day.

Again, not Albert, but he was this underweight

I cried, and fought, and tried to get my way for Albert. I don’t mind having an untrained dog, especially with the temperament Albert had. However, I understand where my husband was coming from. We didn’t have the time to train him. To socialize him and give him the time this boy needed to get better. It wasn’t fair. I wanted to help so badly.

During this time, I realized this is where I belonged. Helping animals, saving them, and getting them into better positions. I looked into being a vet technician, helping shelters and rescues, and being a dog trainer.

At first, I wanted to get into the medical field as a veterinarian. That was my dream as a kid. But when I realized you had to go to school for 12 years, and then you spend ½ your income on liability insurance, and malpractice insurance, and then you have to open up your own practice… it just seemed daunting. So, again, I’m faced with this decision.

I did research to become a veterinary technician and I was fascinated. I looked into a school very close by…and realized the cost for an Associates degree in Veterinary Technology was as much as my Bachelor’s Degree was… I’m still paying those off. This became less of a possibility. Though, I didn’t lose hope, and I was determined.

I applied for about a hundred scholarships. Then, I did more research into other fields and possibilities in the animal industry and realized what I really want to do. Train and rehabilitate difficult dogs. I am interested in rehabilitation training for dogs who have been best, unsocialized, attacked, and just needed help. I want to also do therapy training, guard training, aggression training and help in an animal rescue. I’m still interested in the medical side of things as well, but the deeper I get into the training world, the more I love it.

Yes, I have been overwhelmed at times, but it’s not because of the task of training a difficult dog (which I’ll write about later), it’s because I am working so many hours a week, and it feels like it will never end. It feels like sometimes, I’m not making enough of a difference and that even though I’m already working 60+ hours a week, I’m not doing enough.

This is the reason why I have registered for more classes. I feel like I can do more. I can learn more, I can participate more. The more I do, the more I am valued. Though, I know this isn’t really true, but it’s the way I feel. The more classes I take, the more educated I can become, the more valued I am in the dog industry.

I want to be great. I will be great. I am just at the tip of the iceberg though. And I’m ok with that. I have a lot to learn, but I am surrounded by a great support group, and have some awesome trainers in my area who will help me get there. The hardest point for me is that I am progressing so slowly (in my opinion). I want to just learn and study and practice all day, every day. But I have a job. I have a career, and I have responsibilities. I cannot abandon them.

So, I am going as quickly as time will allow without jeopardizing my current position, or my family life. It is difficult, but I will eventually get there. I just have to keep telling myself there is light at the end of the tunnel. I will do this full time… eventually. And I will be great… eventually. Everyone has to start somewhere, and I think I am on the right path.